Alone

Why is it that every year after Thanksgiving I feel fifty pounds heavier? It's not even like I ate that much.

My mother and step-dad are fighting again. Not even married for six months and they are already at it. Over dumb stuff, like who should do the bills this month. I miss my dad. So much sometimes, that I cry in my bed at night, replaying the few memories I have of him. I remember when I sat on his lap and he sang All The Pretty Little Ponies by Kenny Loggins to me before bed every night. WHen he taught me how to ride a bike, my first day of school. Every tiny memory of him, no matter how short or long, I cherish more than my life. I wish he was still here to hold me when I cried, or when I felt alone or scared.

Its not like my mom cares. or maybe she does and doesn't show it, I don't know. Kameron is not the emotional kind of step-dad, and trust me when I say, Richard doesn't give a crap about my life. They all live in their own little world and leave me suffering in mine.

I'm  sorry about all my ranting, but I needed to let it out. And on Thanksgiving? It is just sad, so very sad.